My stomach turns as I try to begin this. I distract myself a bit more with what I can find on Amazon Instant Video. With a fidget, I wake up from a daze which began with thinking about how to tell you this.
My 17 month old had a seizure in my arms on Sunday afternoon.
Awake a minute or two from her nap, I pulled her from the couch to the floor with me. We were spending the day watching Netflix, ordering delivery and sleeping between snuggles. Trying to snuggle off the fever really.
I called my fiance to check in. "She just woke up from a nap and it's 104.3 rectal. I'm taking her to the ER now." He was packing up to come home since he works about 2 hours away. "Well, hopefully we know what's up by the time you get here. I'll meet you at Methodist."
I was stealing a few more hugs and top-of-hair kisses from my tot who really never stops moving when she's feeling 100%. Sitting on the floor with her, I was thinking about how I was going to pack her diaper bag. She was so lethargic and her tiny body was taking a beating.
She started to shake - her legs and arms simultaneously. For about two seconds I thought it was a chill. But the persistence of the shake sent a feeling through me that I've never felt before.
You see, we have it "easy." Our kid sleeps 13 hours a night if you let her, hardly cries, plays well on her own, loves to dance and just might be a poor excuse for what's it's like living with a "toddler".
I watch over her carefully, picked a daycare close to work after 50+ daycare interviews, try to teach her healthy eating habits, exclusively pumped for 13 months so I could still give her breastmilk despite the hospital pacifier/mom-away-from-baby slip up.
I guess this was my first moment of really losing control.
I could feel the reality of what was happening piece itself together in my distraught mind as her head rolled back and her eyes went with it. I reach for my phone and dial 9-1-1. Swear words fly by the plenty between answering with "I NEED AN AMBULANCE!" and the 30 seconds it took to actually speak to someone.
Yes, I was listening to a hold recording. Crying to God. Crying to Jesus. Crying to someone named "$*%&" apparently. Whomever would listen. For a moment I thought about scooping her up and running out into the street.
I didn't know what to do.
"WHAT THE %&$!" I screamed. "JESUS CHRIST SOMEONE ANSWER THE $*%#ING PHONE!" I could hear the original operator tune in, "
Ma'am, they will be on in a moment. Ma'am they can't help you if you're screaming."
In a moment? I thought. "HER LIPS ARE BLUE. WHAT THE $&%*!" We were alone and I was inconsolable. I was helpless despite what the CPR certified card tried to prove in my wallet.
When the operator finally came on, I could still see the waves running through her tired body.
"Ma'am, calm down. You're doing great." he said. "I'm losing her!" screaming back at him. "I don't know what to do!" He asked if she was breathing and I couldn't look down.
I thought she was dead. I thought she was dead. I thought she was dead.
My eyes peer over her sandy blond head, hoping to find her well. "Her eyes are blinking," I said. She was
waking up. She would be just fine..
Febrile seizures can happen to your little. In fact, among your 25 closest offspring toting friends, one will experience a febrile seizure in their home. Yes, it's
THAT common.
So why have I - mommy blogger, playdate haver, baby planner, Miss constantly-surrounded-by-new-families - not heard of it before? Have you?
Keep in mind that while the seizure is common, the feelings - the pain - the helplessness - the shock - the panic - the idea that your child is dying in your arms - is not.
Your parent friends need to know. Please share this post.
My stomach turns as I try to begin this. I distract myself a bit more with what I can find on Amazon Instant Video. With a fidget, I wake up from a daze which began with thinking about how to tell you this.
My 17 month old had a seizure in my arms on Sunday afternoon.
Awake a minute or two from her nap, I pulled her from the couch to the floor with me. We were spending the day watching Netflix, ordering delivery and sleeping between snuggles. Trying to snuggle off the fever really.
I called my fiance to check in. "She just woke up from a nap and it's 104.3 rectal. I'm taking her to the ER now." He was packing up to come home since he works about 2 hours away. "Well, hopefully we know what's up by the time you get here. I'll meet you at Methodist."
I was stealing a few more hugs and top-of-hair kisses from my tot who really never stops moving when she's feeling 100%. Sitting on the floor with her, I was thinking about how I was going to pack her diaper bag. She was so lethargic and her tiny body was taking a beating.
She started to shake - her legs and arms simultaneously. For about two seconds I thought it was a chill. But the persistence of the shake sent a feeling through me that I've never felt before.
You see, we have it "easy." Our kid sleeps 13 hours a night if you let her, hardly cries, plays well on her own, loves to dance and just might be a poor excuse for what's it's like living with a "toddler".
I watch over her carefully, picked a daycare close to work after 50+ daycare interviews, try to teach her healthy eating habits, exclusively pumped for 13 months so I could still give her breastmilk despite the hospital pacifier/mom-away-from-baby slip up.
I guess this was my first moment of really losing control.
I could feel the reality of what was happening piece itself together in my distraught mind as her head rolled back and her eyes went with it. I reach for my phone and dial 9-1-1. Swear words fly by the plenty between answering with "I NEED AN AMBULANCE!" and the 30 seconds it took to actually speak to someone.
Yes, I was listening to a hold recording. Crying to God. Crying to Jesus. Crying to someone named "$*%&" apparently. Whomever would listen. For a moment I thought about scooping her up and running out into the street.
I didn't know what to do.
"WHAT THE %&$!" I screamed. "JESUS CHRIST SOMEONE ANSWER THE $*%#ING PHONE!" I could hear the original operator tune in, "
Ma'am, they will be on in a moment. Ma'am they can't help you if you're screaming."
In a moment? I thought. "HER LIPS ARE BLUE. WHAT THE $&%*!" We were alone and I was inconsolable. I was helpless despite what the CPR certified card tried to prove in my wallet.
When the operator finally came on, I could still see the waves running through her tired body.
"Ma'am, calm down. You're doing great." he said. "I'm losing her!" screaming back at him. "I don't know what to do!" He asked if she was breathing and I couldn't look down.
I thought she was dead. I thought she was dead. I thought she was dead.
My eyes peer over her sandy blond head, hoping to find her well. "Her eyes are blinking," I said. She was
waking up. She would be just fine..
Febrile seizures can happen to your little. In fact, among your 25 closest offspring toting friends, one will experience a febrile seizure in their home. Yes, it's
THAT common.
So why have I - mommy blogger, playdate haver, baby planner, Miss constantly-surrounded-by-new-families - not heard of it before? Have you?
Keep in mind that while the seizure is common, the feelings - the pain - the helplessness - the shock - the panic - the idea that your child is dying in your arms - is not.
Your parent friends need to know. Please share this post.
Im so sorry you had to go thru such a horrific experience! I held my breath reading this. I am so glad she is ok and its so good of you to spread the word.
ReplyDeleteSooooo glad she is fine now, Megan. I was so uneasy just reading this. Thanks so much for sharing. Be well. xo
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you went through this! The same thing happened to us last month with our 14 month old daughter and I'm still recovering from the trauma. It is an awful experience. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteThat's terrifying. I will share this post. I didn't know, and I bet many of my mom friends don't know, either.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about Pistol. Hope everyone is better. None of the kids here have had seizures, but the blue lip thing happens with the boys. It usually means they need breathing treatments.
ReplyDeleteI've been there, with our now 12 year old and he was 16 months old at the time. I'm sorry you had to go through that it is the scariest. I now take every fever so seriously at the thought of going through that again. He outgrew them, thank God. Hopefully P won't have to deal with that ever again.
ReplyDeleteOh, sweetheart! How scary! So happy she's okay!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Megan! I hope she's feeling better. You're amazing for getting the word out about this.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I have five children, and never heard of this type of seizure! So glad she's ok.
ReplyDeleteHow scary! I'm glad to hear she is okay now. Hopefully you will recover form the experience soon. I can't even imagine.
ReplyDeleteSo glad she is okay. Breath holding spells are also unexpected, scary and common.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear she is ok, I know the feeling My daughter was 2 weeks shy of her 1st birthday when she came down with Roseola and that was scary enough but they told me I now have to keep an close eye on her cause she now can Febrile seizures, she gets high fevers and I watch her very closely like the past few day/nights I have been,
ReplyDeleteGlad she is o.k. My Benjamin had one when he was 18 months old. He didn't turn blue, but his eyes rolled up in his head, and I thought for one brief moment that he was gone. Then I noticed he was still breathing. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story.
ReplyDeleteOh, sweet friend. I knew this happened to you and yet it still broke my heart to read this. I am so glad that she is okay. I have heard of such seizures but had NO idea that they were that common. HUGS to you!
ReplyDelete:-)
Traci